European Weddings

I don't think I've blogged about any weddings that we've been to in Europe yet. They have a lot in common with American weddings but also a few extra things that are interesting. Last night we went to a wedding of one of Martin's friends from the ETH. The wedding was in Ursberg, Germany, which is about three hours southeast of Bad Dürkheim. There isn't much in Ursberg but it's located amongst rolling hills covered with forests and farmland. I think Bavaria is the prettiest area in Germany.

But I digress. Let's talk about weddings. European weddings generally occur in the afternoon, anytime between 12pm and 5pm. The wedding we went to yesterday was at 1pm. It started with a full mass in a gorgeous church in a monastery. After the mass and ceremony we went into the reception hall and were seated there starting around 2:30pm. At this time we were given glasses of champagne followed by an assortment of cakes and coffee as a mid-afternoon snack. While we snacked there were several activities to keep us busy - European weddings always have a lot of activities and different forms of entertainment. One activity was a time capsule. We were given blank cards on which we had to write where we thought the bride and groom would be in 10 years. Then all the cards were sealed into a big box that they will open in 10 years. There was also a guest book to sign (not a normal guest book but one in which you had to describe how you met the bride and groom, what you liked most about them, and answer other complicated sorts of questions), a photo booth, and a collage where every guest had to paint a square ... below are pictures of the collage in progress and the finished product. I think you were supposed to paint something with a heart in it but Martin and I painted a beach scene instead since the bride and groom, both German, will soon move to California for the groom to do his postdoc.



We also had to write on a postcard something that we wanted the bride and groom to do in the future. This postcard, which included the address of the bride and groom so it could be mailed back to them, was tied to the end of the balloon and let go into the sky. Every message that the bride and groom receive in the mail they have to do. For example, our friend David wrote down that they had to go on a trip to Croatia. So if they get his postcard back they have to go on a trip to Croatia at some point. Below we are waiting to let the balloons go during a brief respite in the pouring rain.



So, lots to do! Plus of course the bar is open all this time. :) At 6pm dinner started to be served and that lasted until about 8pm. The entire time between 3pm and 10pm was also filled with speeches from the parents of the bride and groom and other family members and friends. Family and friends also create slide shows and perform small acts like singing for the bride and groom throughout this time. In this case the bride was an elementary school teacher and her fellow teachers sang her a song and showed a video of all her students singing a song for her and then each student individually wishing her a happy wedding and good life. It was really cute. There was also a ventriloquist who performed ... it was kind of painful to watch because I think they're really lame but the couple of kids who were at the wedding really enjoyed it.

At 10pm the music gets started, the bride and groom have their first dance, and the dance floor opens up. This lasts until about 3am. After that the guests are on their own and there is usually a group of people who stay up until 5-6am celebrating. There is no wedding cake at European weddings but there is a second dinner served at midnight so you can keep up your energy while you're dancing. It's usually finger foods and is served as a buffet but it always comes just at the right time when you're starting to need a snack to get through until 3am.

So ... a few more pictures. Here is the inside of the church:



The bride and groom walking in together to start the ceremony:



Each guest was given a candle in a glass jar as a favor and at 10pm we all had to light our candles and gather around the dance floor to illuminate it for the couple's first dance. This was really nice, I thought:



Here are our candles:



The group of guys who were all in the same lab together at the ETH. The groom is in the front.



So, in conclusion, European weddings differ from American weddings in a few key ways. #1 is the length - they last at least until 3am without fail. And the grandparents stay the entire time, no early bus home for them. In the US you get kicked out of wedding venues usually by midnight and you have to organize an after party somewhere else and even that usually has to shut down around 2am. The #2 difference is the midnight dinner. Love the midnight dinner. #3 difference is all the entertainment and pre-prepared shows that go on. There are always slide shows and groups of people singing and performing for the bride and groom. #4 difference - no dancing until 10pm. This is when some weddings in the US end! #5 difference - no wedding cake. There's still dessert, but it's not cake.

All of this is, of course, just what I have experienced in Europe so far. There are of course exceptions to the rule and plenty of weddings that don't follow the above pattern here. It is nice, in my opinion, to have the wedding last so long so that the bride and groom really get to spend time with each of their guests.